Of course the point is not to gossip about exes or fixate on past relationships.But having a sense of the road one came from can make the one ahead far less bumpy.They blamed themselves—for choosing him, not ending it sooner, for texting him back when they should have remained silent, the list goes on.Wanting to find a life partner, spouse, or someone whose shoulder to lean your head upon are a nearly universal desire.“Men mess up and then we feel badly about it.” One of my best friends in graduate school used to say this.As we swapped stories, too often this was a conclusion we came down to. Another said he was too good for the girl he was dating. Women wishing it was a small drawback and not an indication of something bigger.Whether it’s the holiday season or Valentine’s Day or the magic of 4th of July fireworks, we know it’s the shared moments that are most special.
You ask him any iteration of relationship check-up questions and he’s either unsure, needs more time, or tables the topic entirely.It’s completely fair to ask if he sees long-term potential in the relationship, his view on commitment and marriage, and other “big picture” questions.It’s natural that the speed of relationships progress as a function of many factors, one of them being age. On average however, dating in the later 20s to early 30s tends to make it somewhat more socially acceptable to ask these more serious questions earlier on. If you think he’s not emotionally invested, there is a good chance he’s not.It can even feel like too much work starting over with someone new.